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All hope had left me at that point and I think that kept me mildly sane.It was winter when I left. Another cold lonesome winter. But, let’s be honest, my mind had wandered long before I left. All my life, my mind had wandered. There must be more to life than just one man; the house, the kid, the job. All so mundane. So, I willed my mind to wander. I had fascinations with men in my head. Men I worked with. Male cashiers that were oh so nice. Random strangers. What would they feel like? What would they taste like? What would they do to me and how? Wander, wander, wander. All to escape the hell I lived with daily. I never once cheated. I thought about it, and maybe that counts. Your eyes can wander but never your hands. What about your mind? Your soul?About two years ago, I found the best type of wanderer. And instant connection. A co-worker at the time, such a mysterious find! It's almost like I’ve known him my entire life. How unique! I lusted. Hard. But also, I wanted to learn abput. Mindy was doing her best, as one raised in the “big city” to break me of that.“No, it’s not true of you at all. You’re so kind to me. No one has ever treated me as gently as you have. You’re considerate, constantly asking me how I’m doing, how I feel, what’s going on inside me. I love that about you.”“Well, it’s genuine, you know,” I quickly offered, interrupting her flow in order to stop the torrent of what, to me, were embarrassing compliments.“That’s easy to tell. I think people can read you so well because you’re so real all the time. I don’t think you’d know how to ‘fake it’ with somebody.” Her eyes averted down at this moment. “And I really, really liked the other night.”Heat rushed over my face at the mention of the first night we’d actually been together, just the two of us. While my roommate and his girlfriend got into one of their spats, we took off and ended up steaming up the windows of my car at the far end of campus. Mindy and I had playfully challenged each other to a.
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